Feeling Good

It’s a beautiful morning here in Tokyo. I’m feeling very calm.
Okay, let’s sort things out.

  1. As for my parents, especially my mother, well, I don’t even care now. The fact that I actually “hurt” her, yeah, I’m still feeling guilty a bit though, I got hurt too, even though she didn’t mean to.
    I’m gonna talk to my doctor tomorrow if I really need to bring her with me on 27th.
  2. Next. My DDNOS symptoms, amnesia. My doc said that I should have not care, and not promise anything to anyone because I forget. But well, it’s still scary for me. I don’t wanna be like how I used to be; being obsessive and recording every single act and everything. However, I must not worry too much because this worry may make my mental state even worse.
  3. At last, yes, the Twinkle Guy. I don’t want to put his name here, so I write just “he” and distinguish my husband.
    What happened was really simple. I dropped by a cafe with my friend and husband the other day and we’ve talked with a waiter guy. He was nice, funny, and friendly.
    And for some reason I went to that cafe next morning. I’ve talked him, mostly about music. He is actually a musician. It was a good conversation. I liked him. So we exchanged our info and since then we are mailing each other.

Uh, I have to confess that…I kinda got attracted by him. And I felt really bad. Because I’m married and my husband and I love each other truly.

I even thought that keeping in touch with ‘him’ deserved DEATH PENALTY.
One of my friends said I must keep distance. But some others said it’s actually no big deal. My doc also gave me some advice, and my counselor as well.

Many suggestions confused me in fact. Perhaps I’ve told it to too many.

But now, my stance is like this;

Well, we could be good friends though, I shouldn’t contact him too much.
Sometimes, when things are not good, I tend to miss him like a runaway, and I must stop it. See what will happen. That’s it.

I’m not cheating on my husband or anything, nothing has actually happened. So I don’t give a shit about it.




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